How to reduce resentment in your life? Process Essay

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Its should be a process essay 500-700 words about how to reduce resentment in your life.

The language should be simple because im an international student and this class is writing class for non native speakers. You may do some grammar errors on purpose too.

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How to Resist Our Age of Resentment Toxic feelings of inadequacy are on the rise, fueled by social media, but there are ways to stay sane BY PEGGY DREXLER din have lent to social interaction also mean that adulthood now often resembles a high-school popularity contest. We broadcast our own social IT'S THE RARE, hyper-evolved bird among lives and resent when we're excluded from the us-a Buddhist bird, probably--who can wan social lives of others. As the current saying goes, der the halls of social media without feeling "If it's not on Instagram, it didn't happen." And the slightest twinge of resentment. There's if it is on Instagram--and you weren't there--it's the couples' trip to Paris that you weren't in- hard not to feel the slight. vited to (even though you introduced them We're also a society that's increasingly ob- alld. The scholarship your child didn't win sessed with wealth, and perhaps especially when (but he's so precocious!). The big promotion friends rise above our own station. This too you didn't Innd...and that went to your less breeds resentment. Perhaps these are friends talented colleague. Things that could have, who don't work as hard as you, or married into should have been yours. money they did not earn. Resentment is a feeling of indignation in re- A 2005 paper in the Quarterly Journal of Eco- action to a real or perceived slight, nomics analyzed data collected by a sense of insult or inadequacy the National Survey of Families and caused by the actions, comments Upset by Households, representing approxi- or simple existence of someone or Instagram mately 10,000 people. The study something else. It's the feeling and found that "relative income"-that that you're not getting your fair is, how much you feel that you earn share, while someone else is get Facebook? in comparison to others-is more ting more than theirs. Take a important in determining self-es- Resentment has its benefits. A teem than what you actually earn, 2017 study published in the Journal break. And those with compromised of Experimental Psychology, with self-esteem are more likely to feel more than 2,300 subjects from the effects of resentment. Whether around the world, found that short- it's through social media or real term resentment may help to boost self-esteem, life-whether they are strangers or friends-see- by allowing us to blame others for our problems. ing others who are well off, even if they don't But the benefits are short-lived. Resentment flaunt it, can force those with less to confront is, in fact, highly toxic. A 2011 clinical overview their own thoughts about money. of the emotional and physiological effects of For the past 80 years, researchers at the Har anger and resentment on the body, with con- vard Study of Adult Development have looked at tributions from several authors, showed that how Americans report their own happiness. It is chronic bitterness can slow metabolism, im- the longest study ever conducted on the topic. mune system function and organ function, They have found that it's not money or fame, Some psychologists even believe that, left un- nor possessions or looks, that lead to happiness checked, resentment can turn into a condition but rather, strong relationships. Yet, when known as "post-traumatic embitterment disor- asked, most people, especially young people, der," which can manifest itself as anxiety, de- believe that money or pression and fits of (The diagnosis re- mains unofficial but has been discussed in the for more than a decade.) Demographic and technological trends ha- ven't helped matters. According to a 2010 study published in the journal Social Psychol- ogy and Personality Science, clinical narcissism among college students-which is defined by heightened feelings of entitlement, decreased morality and fierce competitiveness—increased by 30% from 1982 to 2006, when two out ery three measured high for the disorder. That age cohort is now social media's prime group of users. They use the platforms to present a curated life that quite often shows only the most flattering bits, with the purpose of con- veying, or implying, status and standing. You're quite literally meant to resent their success, or JOURNAL their beauty, or their luck. In a TED talk, Robert Waldinger, the cur rent director of the study, reported that 801 percent of millennials say that their life goal is to be rich. Fifty percent say that one of their goals is to be famous. Most, of course, will achieve neither. So is it any wonder that resentment is on the rise? The resurgence of resentment has something to do, I suspect, with a very positive social de velopment: female empowerment. As women become more diverse in their achievements, in come levels and desires, there is more opportu nity for them to wonder if they could be or have more-and to ask why they have fallet short. There's more opportunity for women to resent those in their lives--men, other women or their own children whom they may see as holding them back Show me a professional woman who doesn't feel resentful about coming home to a pile of dirty laundry, a hungry child. and a husband playing Xbox, and I'll show you a magical unicorn. We're also kidding ourselves if we don't cop to the resentment that working women can feel for stay-at-home moms, and vice versa. This might emerge in the context of money, and the material display of it: Does she have more than I do and where did she get it? Has she earned it? If not, where did she get it? Or it might emerge in the context of parenting: Does she think she's a better mother because she stays home? Does she think she's a better mother be- cause she works? The good news is that the fix for resentment lies entirely within yourself. It consists of learn- ing to push resentment down-remembering that happiness found in what you have and not what you don't. At the very least, it means accepting that what you see of others' lives isn't always the entire story. It requires us to ac- knowledge that others can't control our happi ness or how we choose to live our lives, just as we can't control how they choose to live theirs. But we can control what we allow our selves to see. If you find that Facebook or In- stagram is making you upset, give yourself a break. If you can't visit with friends without cringing inside over their good fortune, that's a shame--but, again, give yourself a break. It's hardly human nature to feel happy with what we have. In one sense, that's a positive quality--it's what keeps us moving forward. But if your "wanting more" keeps coming back to the vacation or dress or career or life that you don't have, turn your fixation into action. Com- plain less; do more. Refocus the desires Reframe the perspective. As the Harvard researchers con cluded, the road to happiness is simple, if ob- vious: Happiness comes from choosing to be happy. Living without resentment is not al- ways easy to achieve, but the power to resist its temptations is entirely in your own hands. wall Street Dr. Drexler is a New York City-based research psychologist and author of two books about gender and families. She is currently at work
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How To Reduce Resentment In My Life
Resentment means to be angry at or bitter towards a person. This person may have done
something wrong to you either knowingly or unknowingly. Resentment usually comes with
strong negative feelings towards people or things. When a person is resentful, he or she
experiences emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise. In most cases, people become resentful
towards themselves when they chose to cling to the angry feelings they have towards other
people or things. Holding onto the negative feelings of hatred hinders a person’s ability to move
on with their life. Moreover, feelings of resentment could lead to cases of sleeplessness, lack of
libido ...


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