revising and editing

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i have my intermediate draft, and i have my instructor comments. i need it to be well revised and edit. the whole assignment well depnd on revising and editing the paper i will attach the original work and the instructor comments. please change as much as possible the sources are in the paper if you couldn't find one of the sources let me know i will attach a direct link.

those are some of my week areas in general and i will attach a pdf of the instructor comment.

1/ Analysis: focus your thesis on the purpose of the ads and how the rhetorical appeals help achieve that purpose.

2/Evidence:make sure that your sources are supporting your readings of the advertisements, not just background information.

3/ organization: please focus on one main idea per paragraph.

4/Format:look up how to italicize titles of source publications in the Works Cited.

5/Style:of these ads. Are you writing "educate people and support them" because those are two things you're discussing in your paper? This might be a case where you need to be more specific.

6/Endnote:

1. Clarify your thesis statement

2. Use evidence to support your main points, not just background information

3. Discuss one topic per paragraph

i will attach the assignment requirements as well, feel free to make any changes.

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ALKOOHEJI 1 Noof Alkooheji Professor Katie Walkup ENC1102.071S18 March 4,2018 Breast Cancer and Social Network There are roughly 150,000 women in the U.S living with breast cancer (Ibrance). As technology developed people become to believe more in treatment, few people work to prevent the disease before it could effect. That why it is essential to spread the awareness among people. This paper is going to focus on one of the breast cancer organizations and their social effort in helping people. Breast Cancer organization is concentrating their effort to create the best social network connection with people; through images that contain information and supportive quotes full of persuasion techniques, by using various methods as an attempt to prevent, recover, and overcome breast cancer. Starting with a brief background about the organization, BCO is a nonprofit organization committed to presenting the most reliable, full, and up-to-date knowledge regarding breast cancer. According to their website, their mission is to help women and their beloved ones in making sense of the personal and complicated medical information about breast cancer so that they can make the best choices for their lives.(BreastCancer.org). As a nonprofit organization, Breast Cancer organization rely on the generosity of individuals, corporations, and foundations. It is not only about money; some people are giving their time and effort to help to make the best program that would support the organization goal. Moving toward the organization's effort to achieve their goal, on their website there is a link to their Facebook page they are posting a lot of images that contain information as well as supportive quotes. Their Facebook page concluded that BCO is trying to be connected socially to the people so that they can reach them faster and in a more friendly way. The ALKOOHEJI 2 people's comments on the images show their positive response. The question is why did the organization choose the Facebook to be one of their ways to reach the people? as an answer to the question according to The Statistic Portal "The total Facebook audience in the United States amounted to 214 million users."(Statista). They also mentioned that Facebook is the most popular social network worldwide. (Statista). This study leads to a definite conclusion in which Facebook is the right place to educate people and support them. Two images were taken from the organization Facebook page to be analyzed through this paper. Starting with the first image, the image is showing some fact that people may not but should know about breast cancer. Also, it shows studies and survey. Analyzing this image, what proved is that the organization is using rhetorical appeals in the picture they used both Logos and Ethos. Being more specific the data and the studies, as well as the survey all consider Logos “Logos is frequently translated as some variation of logic or reasoning, but it originally referred to the actual content of a speech and how it was organized.” (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Additionally People also need to be sure from what they are reading and learning, that is why the organization provided the citations at the bottom of the image to prove the credibility of their information, which consider being an Ethos “Ethos is frequently translated as some variation of credibility or trustworthiness.” (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Using those two kinds of rhetorical appeals gives the audience a kind of comfort as they are learning new things from a sources that they can trust. Moving toward the second image, that found on the organization's Facebook page. This image could be different in content compared to the first image. As it showing in the image, it contains a supportive quote "The Greatest Wealth is Health." This quote would give the audience the feeling of appreciation to what they have if they were in good health, or what they are missing if they were ill. The quote effect the audience's emotions, as well as it reminds them of what they need in life. The image also pushes the women who are affected ALKOOHEJI 3 to fight for their health against cancer. It is clear that the image contains Pathos "emotional appeal, appeals to an audience's needs, values, and emotional sensibilities." (Purdue Online Writing Lab). In the picture, there is a hashtag #WorldHealthDay. The hashtag could be an indirect message that reminds the people that the time has come for you to get involved and make an action. the idea behind the hashtag considers being another strategy of persuasion in the image which is Kairos "Kairos is a term that refers to the elements of a speech that acknowledge and draw support from the particular setting, time, and place that a speech occurs." (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Last but not least the image also contains the logo of the organization which gives the audience a sort of credibility and trust, and it considers an Ethos. In comparing the purpose of the two images are different, the first image appeal to the logic while the second image appeals more to the emotions. Most of the people may be thinking about how those images could help, as they do not consider to be a cure for the BC. Well, Those kinds of pictures that are carrying important information consider being helpful to the patients and women in general. The reason is that those women need to know more about their bodies, and more about their illness. For example, identifying information before the disease could help the women to prevent it, and know information during their treatment period could help them in treating better, as well as understanding information after their treatment could prevent the fears about recurrence. Women also need those kinds of images to give them hope in recovering, and to make them strong enough to face this serious disease. According to a research done by Johnson shows that the majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer experience ongoing concerns about recurrence (Johnson), he mentioned that using the social support was the most common strategy in coping with their fears saying "Women used a range of strategies to cope with their fears about recurrence. Use of social support was most common." (241). This study considers being good evidence in approving how social support in general and supportive ALKOOHEJI 4 images in specific are essential to the women who faced or still facing breast cancer. Moreover, another study research done by Kroenke presented “Previous studies have reported that larger, supportive social networks (SNs), defined as the web of social relationships that surround an individual, are associated with better survival after a BC diagnosis." (1). This study confirms the result of the previous research in which both leads to the conclusion that social network and social involvement help the BC patient to recover in a better way. This conclusion refers to the significant effort of the organization in providing this social network support for the women, through Facebook and their official website. In conclusion BCO is using social network to connect with people. They used their official website and Facebook page to publish their images, that contain information and supportive quotes full of persuasion techniques, by using logic, emotions, and credibility BCO are attempting to prevent, recover, and overcome breast cancer. ALKOOHEJI 5 Works Cited About US. BreastCancer.org. 2018, http://www.breastcancer.org/about_us. Accessed 4 March. 2018. Johnson, SM Vickberg. "Fears about breast cancer recurrence:." Cancer Practice 9.5 (2001): 237-243. Kroenke, Candyce H., et al. "Post‐diagnosis social networks, and lifestyle and treatment factors in the After Breast Cancer Pooling Project." Psycho‐oncology 26.4 (2017): 544-552. Number of Facebook users in the United States as of January 2018, by age group. Statista. 2018, https://www.statista.com/statistics/398136/us-facebook-user-age-groups/. Accessed 4 March. 2018. The Purdue OWL Family of Sites. The Writing Lab and OWL at Purdue and Purdue U, 2008, owl.english.purdue.edu/owl. Accessed 2 March. 2018. What is the Metastatic Breast Cancer. IBRANCE,2017, https://www.ibrance.com/metastaticbreast-cancer-resources. Accessed 4 March. 2018. ALKOOHEJI 1 Noof Alkooheji Professor Katie Walkup ENC1102.071S18 March 4,2018 Breast Cancer and Social Network There are roughly 150,000 women in the U.S living with breast cancer (Ibrance). As technology developed people become to believe more in treatment, few people work to prevent the disease before it could effect. That why it is essential to spread the awareness among people. This paper is going to focus on one of the breast cancer organizations and their social effort in helping people. Breast Cancer organization is concentrating their effort to create the best social network connection with people; through images that contain information and supportive quotes full of persuasion techniques, by using various methods as an attempt to prevent, recover, and overcome breast cancer. Starting with a brief background about the organization, BCO is a nonprofit organization committed to presenting the most reliable, full, and up-to-date knowledge regarding breast cancer. According to their website, their mission is to help women and their beloved ones in making sense of the personal and complicated medical information about breast cancer so that they can make the best choices for their lives.(BreastCancer.org). As a nonprofit organization, Breast Cancer organization rely on the generosity of individuals, corporations, and foundations. It is not only about money; some people are giving their time and effort to help to make the best program that would support the organization goal. Moving toward the organization's effort to achieve their goal, on their website there is a link to their Facebook page they are posting a lot of images that contain information as well as supportive quotes. Their Facebook page concluded that BCO is trying to be connected socially to the people so that they can reach them faster and in a more friendly way. The ALKOOHEJI 2 people's comments on the images show their positive response. The question is why did the organization choose the Facebook to be one of their ways to reach the people? as an answer to the question according to The Statistic Portal "The total Facebook audience in the United States amounted to 214 million users."(Statista). They also mentioned that Facebook is the most popular social network worldwide. (Statista). This study leads to a definite conclusion in which Facebook is the right place to educate people and support them. Two images were taken from the organization Facebook page to be analyzed through this paper. Starting with the first image, the image is showing some fact that people may not but should know about breast cancer. Also, it shows studies and survey. Analyzing this image, what proved is that the organization is using rhetorical appeals in the picture they used both Logos and Ethos. Being more specific the data and the studies, as well as the survey all consider Logos “Logos is frequently translated as some variation of logic or reasoning, but it originally referred to the actual content of a speech and how it was organized.” (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Additionally People also need to be sure from what they are reading and learning, that is why the organization provided the citations at the bottom of the image to prove the credibility of their information, which consider being an Ethos “Ethos is frequently translated as some variation of credibility or trustworthiness.” (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Using those two kinds of rhetorical appeals gives the audience a kind of comfort as they are learning new things from a sources that they can trust. Moving toward the second image, that found on the organization's Facebook page. This image could be different in content compared to the first image. As it showing in the image, it contains a supportive quote "The Greatest Wealth is Health." This quote would give the audience the feeling of appreciation to what they have if they were in good health, or what they are missing if they were ill. The quote effect the audience's emotions, as well as it reminds them of what they need in life. The image also pushes the women who are affected ALKOOHEJI 3 to fight for their health against cancer. It is clear that the image contains Pathos "emotional appeal, appeals to an audience's needs, values, and emotional sensibilities." (Purdue Online Writing Lab). In the picture, there is a hashtag #WorldHealthDay. The hashtag could be an indirect message that reminds the people that the time has come for you to get involved and make an action. the idea behind the hashtag considers being another strategy of persuasion in the image which is Kairos "Kairos is a term that refers to the elements of a speech that acknowledge and draw support from the particular setting, time, and place that a speech occurs." (Purdue Online Writing Lab). Last but not least the image also contains the logo of the organization which gives the audience a sort of credibility and trust, and it considers an Ethos. In comparing the purpose of the two images are different, the first image appeal to the logic while the second image appeals more to the emotions. Most of the people may be thinking about how those images could help, as they do not consider to be a cure for the BC. Well, Those kinds of pictures that are carrying important information consider being helpful to the patients and women in general. The reason is that those women need to know more about their bodies, and more about their illness. For example, identifying information before the disease could help the women to prevent it, and know information during their treatment period could help them in treating better, as well as understanding information after their treatment could prevent the fears about recurrence. Women also need those kinds of images to give them hope in recovering, and to make them strong enough to face this serious disease. According to a research done by Johnson shows that the majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer experience ongoing concerns about recurrence (Johnson), he mentioned that using the social support was the most common strategy in coping with their fears saying "Women used a range of strategies to cope with their fears about recurrence. Use of social support was most common." (241). This study considers being good evidence in approving how social support in general and supportive ALKOOHEJI 4 images in specific are essential to the women who faced or still facing breast cancer. Moreover, another study research done by Kroenke presented “Previous studies have reported that larger, supportive social networks (SNs), defined as the web of social relationships that surround an individual, are associated with better survival after a BC diagnosis." (1). This study confirms the result of the previous research in which both leads to the conclusion that social network and social involvement help the BC patient to recover in a better way. This conclusion refers to the significant effort of the organization in providing this social network support for the women, through Facebook and their official website. In conclusion BCO is using social network to connect with people. They used their official website and Facebook page to publish their images, that contain information and supportive quotes full of persuasion techniques, by using logic, emotions, and credibility BCO are attempting to prevent, recover, and overcome breast cancer. ALKOOHEJI 5 ALKOOHEJI 6 Works Cited About US. BreastCancer.org. 2018, http://www.breastcancer.org/about_us. Accessed 4 March. 2018. ALKOOHEJI 7 Johnson, SM Vickberg. "Fears about breast cancer recurrence:." Cancer Practice 9.5 (2001): 237-243. Kroenke, Candyce H., et al. "Post‐diagnosis social networks, and lifestyle and treatment factors in the After Breast Cancer Pooling Project." Psycho‐oncology 26.4 (2017): 544-552. Number of Facebook users in the United States as of January 2018, by age group. Statista. 2018, https://www.statista.com/statistics/398136/us-facebook-user-age-groups/. Accessed 4 March. 2018. The Purdue OWL Family of Sites. The Writing Lab and OWL at Purdue and Purdue U, 2008, owl.english.purdue.edu/owl. Accessed 2 March. 2018. What is the Metastatic Breast Cancer. IBRANCE,2017, https://www.ibrance.com/metastaticbreast-cancer-resources. Accessed 4 March. 2018. Project 2: Analyzing Visual Rhetoric Terms You Should Know • • • • Stakeholder: an organization or individual with a vested interest or concern; often financial, but can be influenced by various factors Visual Rhetoric: argumentative strategies conveyed through images or design; includes aesthetics, color, media, typography, and space Rhetorical Appeals: strategies used in the art of persuasion o Ethos: appeal to credibility or morality o Pathos: appeal to the emotions o Logos: appeal to logic and reason o Kairos: appeal to timeliness Rhetorical Fallacies: logical errors or inconsistencies in an argument Project Description Project 2 asks you to write 1200-1400 words identifying a stakeholders’ argument that has been projected through their visual images. You will think critically about the visual and rhetorical strategies this particular group implements in their campaigns. You will choose two specific images created by the organization about a global or cultural issue (i.e. advertisements, PSAs, or static images used on a website, flyer, billboard, etc.), and analyze how these visual arguments reflect the organization’s goals. Project 2 is a Global Citizens Assignment. Project Assignment You will write an essay of 1200-1400 words based on the following requirements: 1. select a single stakeholder (commercial or non-profit organization) and present its goals, mission, or message regarding your chosen topic or issue 2. include a thesis that presents the relationship between the two images and the stakeholder’s main argument, including how the two images represent the interests of the stakeholder and its goals, message, or mission 3. provide background on the stakeholder (context) 4. analyze the rhetorical strategies used in both images, taking into consideration audience, message, purpose, rhetorical appeals, and/or rhetorical fallacies, and pointing to specific details from the image to support your claim 5. use at least three sources; one must be a source from the stakeholder, and the others may come from secondary sources about the stakeholder or about the images discussed Assessment This assignment will be evaluated using the Project 2 Rubric (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.. Important Drafts Early Draft The early draft should be used as a brainstorming space where you can begin thinking about the visual arguments used by stakeholders and how they achieve their desired goals through the use of visual and rhetorical strategies. Intermediate Draft The intermediate draft should be a working draft (1200-1400 words) that analyzes how these visual arguments reflect the concerns of the stakeholder and discusses visual rhetorical strategies that establish relationships between the two images. This draft should include a thesis, all major points, evidence to support these points (including intext citations from appropriate sources), and a Works Cited page. The draft must also include the two images analyzed by the student which should be embedded into the document. Peer Review Follow assignment guidelines as outlined by your instructor. Using MyReviewers, you will provide feedback via peer review. The peer review process allows you to respond to your peers’ drafts as fellow writers working toward the common goal of producing properly formatted, useful and insightful essays. Both you and your peers will be using each other’s comments and recommendations to improve your work. Thus, your individual commitment to peer review has a real impact on the success of the entire class. Revision Plan Follow assignment guidelines as outlined by your instructor. Create a revision plan in MyReviewers that considers the feedback you received on your intermediate draft. Summarize this feedback, analyze which comments you find most helpful, and then determine how you will revise your draft. Final Draft The final draft will be a polished essay (1200-1400 words) that analyzes how these visual arguments reflect the concerns of the stakeholder and discusses visual rhetorical strategies that establish relationships between the two images. This draft should include a thesis, all major points, evidence to support these points (including in-text citations from appropriate sources), and a Works Cited page. The draft must also include the two images analyzed by the student which should be embedded into the document. Final drafts that have not been significantly revised will be lowered one letter grade. Role of Research You should support the claims you make about the stakeholder’s perspective and position using primary and secondary research. You may use primary resources from the stakeholder or the textbook, along with secondary resources that reference the stakeholder and/or the images used. Future Considerations In this project, you will build on the various skills developed in Project 1, demonstrating empathy when describing various stakeholder perspectives and finding common ground between those two perspectives, as well as those developed in Project 2, understanding rhetorical strategies and using them in visual analysis. In Project 3, you will apply what you have learned about visual design and layout, rhetorical devices, and audience awareness to compose your own multimedia project that persuades your chosen audience to take action in some way.
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Explanation & Answer

Attached.

Alkooheji

1

Noof Alkooheji
Professor Katie Walkup
ENC1102.071S18
March 4, 2018
Breast Cancer and Social Network
There is roughly 150,000 women in the U.S living with breast cancer (Ibrance). As
technology developed people began to have more belief in treatment while some worked on
preventing the disease before it took effect. The absence of accurate knowledge on breast
cancer prompted the need of spreading awareness among people. In this paper, we will be
focusing on one of the breast cancer organization and their effort in promoting awareness on
breast cancer through their social networks.
BCO is a nonprofit organization committed to presenting the most reliable, accurate,
and up-to-date information regarding breast cancer. They present this knowledge through their
social networks by using persuasive images containing informative knowledge on breast
cancer. According to their website, their mission is to help women and their beloved ones in
making sense of the personal and complicated medical information about breast cancer so that
they can make the best choices in regards to the disease (BreastCancer.org). As a nonprofit
organization, Breast Cancer organization rely on the generosity of individuals, corporations,
and foundations. The organizations also has people who dedicate their time and effort in
helping to develop and implement effective programs that would support their organizational
goals
One of the organizational strategy that is used to achieve their goals is the use of social
networks such as Facebook to post images and information that is useful in creating breast
cancer awareness. Their Facebook page is made accessible through a link on their website that
easily directs users to reliable and timely information that builds their knowledge on breast

A...


Anonymous
Excellent! Definitely coming back for more study materials.

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