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Assertive Behavior Introdu...
I'm Art Marshall, one of the faculty members responsible for a SOCI 105 section and may be
teaching this particular section.
ESSAY DISCUSSION #3
SOCI 105 – Assertion (Possibly audio/Possible characters)
The following narrative is a brief summary of the 6 more specific handouts for preparation of this
particular Discussion Question.
The object of this particular lesson is to explore options that are effective and generally accepted in
the Western world, more specifically the United States.
It is important to keep in mind that there are cultural differences in communication styles that are
accepted as appropriate. Also keep in mind that this course has as a major focus, communication
skills that you can use to be effective in the United States; but one needs to remain sensitive to
cultural differences both at home and when working abroad.
The behaviors we exhibit when dealing with different situations, most of which are everyday, non-
earth-shaking situations, have more to do with behaviors we have learned from mixed messages we
received from those around us as we grew up. Growing up, many of us are told to be honest—but
not too honest—or "little white lies don't hurt”—I didn't know lies came in colors.
The first step is to review the three behaviors:
Non-assertiveRights violated in 2 ways—a person violates his/her own rights or allows others to
violate his/her rights.
Aggressive—Stands up for his/her own rights in such a way as to violate the rights of others.
Assertive—Stands up for his/her rights in such a way that their direct, honest and appropriate
feelings, opinions and beliefs are made apparent.
We all exhibit these behaviors in different situations-
Which leads us into the second stage: rights we all have as individuals and, interestingly enough,
allow others to violate one or more of our rights.
This is usually done because of Step 3—an irrational belief, e.g. “I can say anything because they
will be mad,” NOT "might be,” which would be rational. OR, “If I speak up, I will get into
trouble,” rather than “I might.” Obviously, when speaking rationally, "might becomes a factor.
If one really believes that the possibility is high, one may choose to not speak up; but then I need to
accept that my right will most likely continue to be violated. Interestingly, the other person often is
not aware of how we feel or that what they are doing might be annoying us.
Let's consider, however, that this is a situation in which we do not feel so positive that the other
person will respond irrationally. So we want to speak up and feel better about ourselves and begin
to be more in control of ourselves. Therefore, we now deal with Step 4--the "when to speak up;
right time or enough time; the where; the best place; a place where the person will not have to be
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Assertive Behavior Introdu...
defensive; and lastly, how far, or to what degree we are willing to go, which depends a great deal on
the situation.”
Two situations—one simple, one more complex.
1) A student once shared that his brother-in-law borrowed his pickup truck and returned it with
no gas and dirty. He was asked, why lend it to him—Tell him if returned that way again, no
more lending. “I can't, he's married to my sister” (irrational). Needs to be told, I don't like
this!
2) A student handed in a poorly prepared paper and got a poor grade. He worked very hard on
his next paper, and received it back with the comment, “I don't think this is your work.” If
it wasn't, he dodged a bullet, as cheating and plagiarism are punishable by receiving an F-a
failing grade—and possible expulsion. Since it was his work, he was convinced to
assertively approach the instructor, saying, “I either deserve an A or an F, but I didn't
cheat.” He got his A, but he had to be prepared to decide how far he would take his
complaint
Now we are ready for the techniques, and it is interesting to see that there are relatively few. The
difficulty often comes from putting them into practice, as they are often replacing years of behavior.
Now for a quick review before you read in more detail about the six steps in the following handouts.
We have three choices of learned behaviors: Walk away; Say nothing, wishing later we had spoken
up; or Explode and overreact just to get our way or because we have reached the "straw that breaks
the camel's back” so to speak, and all the anger is directed to one person or is unreasonably harsh.
Or one could deal with the situation rationally and appropriately without verbally attacking or
needlessly justifying oneself.
At this point you are ready to read the more detailed material, the 6 handouts, and prepare to
respond to (the questions; or Discussion Question # 3)
Remember, each discussion post requires at least 2 references to the text material or the related
handouts and are not timed. In addition, you are to respond in detail to at least one other class
member posting.
Good luck, and keep this material available for an occasional booster shot.
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Back Essay 4- Assertion Discussion
Essay 4 - Assertion Discussion - Reflections on
Assertiveness( NOTE) There will be a essay 4
handout in class that will encompass the below
discussion, but that will also include ethical/moral
and philosophical parameters of assertion and
responsibility and to discuss change personal, and
what is possible in our groups and environment.
The below is an example of subject matter and real
life persona instances that we all can relate to.
Political correctness is it friend or foe to Assertion
and honesty? WAIT for the paper to be given with
introduction in class. It is a 30 points, 4 to
5 pages max references to class discussion,s
responsible assertion vhs, ruth chang talk, and live
what would you do situations via John Quionesss'
body of work. others as you research on your
own. etc. The term/concept of self-actualization
will be learned and included. What is an educated
person's responsibility to society and oneself.
Below example of assertion concepts that can be
helpful to the essay discussion, examples from life
always add so much to the essay, include where
possible. to be included in essay at will.
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Back Essay 4- Assertion Discussion
In the dominant American culture, assertion is a primary tool for
clear, open and successful communication. Reflect on a
situation in which either non-assertive or aggressive behavior
was exhibited. Analyze the situation by answering the following
questions:
What was the basic problem that needed to be addressed?
What right or rights were being violated?
What irrational beliefs could have interfered with
appropriate behavior?
What could have been a more successful outcome?
• Specify the techniques or skills that could have replaced
the non-assertive or aggressive behavior.
Describe a specific intercultural situation in which
assertion may not be an effective choice.
Include at least two references from the Assertiveness training
materials. In your personal examples, both rights and irrational
thinking must be discussed. Read Chapters 7-8 or other relevant
passages in Jandt book. Your essay should be between 4 and
5 typed pages. Additional instructs about essay
requirements given in class. To be eligible for full credit,
the essay must have title, be submitted ON TIME, typed, and
carefully proofread for all errors.
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