ADULT PERSONAL CONFLICT STYLE INVENTORY STRENGTHENING AND STARTING CHURCHES NETWORK A diverse global network of churches, organizations and emerging leaders focused on strengthening and starting churches. 1 Adult Personal Conflict Style Inventory This survey will calculate your preferred method of dealing with conflict. Please note: The reflection this inventory can create is more important – and more reliable – than the numbers calculated from your responses to this form. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers, nor have we “standardized” this instrument. Some takers agree with the results; others disagree. Whether you like the results or not, you should rely on them for an accurate picture of yourself only after further self-scrutiny and discussion with others. The inventory is merely a tool to enable these larger tasks. Instructions: Consider your response in situations where your wishes differ from those of another person. Note that statements A-O deal with your initial response to disagreement; statements P-DD deal with your response after the disagreement has gotten stronger. If you find it easier, you may choose one particular conflict setting and use it as background for all the questions. Circle one number on the line below each statement. 2 When I first discover that differences exist… A…I make sure that all views are out in the open and treated with equal consideration, even if there seems to be substantial disagreement Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic B…I devote more attention to making sure others understand the logic and benefits of my position than I do to pleasing them. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic C…I make my needs known, but I tone them down a bit and look for solutions somewhere in the middle. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic D…I pull back from discussion for a time to avoid tension. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic E…I devote more attention to feelings of others than to my personal goals. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic F…I make sure my agenda doesn’t get in the way of our relationship. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic G…I actively explain my ideas and just as actively take steps to understand others. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic H…I am more concerned with goals I believe to be important than with how others feel about things. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic I…I decide the differences aren’t worth worrying about. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic J…I give up some points in exchange for others. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic K…I encourage each person to voice his/her perspective and concerns openly in order to resolve disputes in the best possible way. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic 3 L…I am firm in my resolve when it comes to justifying my side of the issue. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic M…I seek to work out some mutually beneficial solutions; win a little, lose a little. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic N…I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disappointment with others to myself. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic O…I attempt to meet the expectations of others. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic If differences persist and feelings escalate… P…I trade important information with others so that problems can be solved together. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic Q…I argue my case with peers, colleagues and co-workers to demonstrate the merits of the position I take. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic R…I put forward middle positions in efforts to break deadlocks. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic S…I try to avoid being singled out, keeping conflict with others to myself. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic T…I accept the recommendations of colleagues, peers, and co-workers. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic U…I enter more actively into discussion and hold out for ways to meet the needs of others as well as my own. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic V…I put forth greater effort to make sure that the truth as I see it is recognized and less on pleasing others. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic 4 W…I try to be reasonable by not asking for my full preferences, but I make sure I get some of what I want. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic X…I don’t push for things to be done my way, and I pull back somewhat from the demands of others. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic Y…I set aside my own preferences and become more concerned with keeping the relationship comfortable. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic Z…I interact less with others and look for ways to find a safe distance. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic AA...I do what needs to be done and hope we can mend feelings later. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic BB…I do what is necessary to smooth the other’s feelings. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic CC…I pay close attention to the desires of others but remain firm that they need to pay equal attention to my desires. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic DD…I press for moderation and compromise so we can make a decision and move on with things. Not at all characteristic… 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6…Very characteristic [Adapted from Mennonite Conciliation Service, Mediation and Facilitation Training Manual, 4th ed., 2000 (Akron, PA: MCS), p. 64-66. By the Peace and Justice Network of Mennonite Church USA] 5 Style Inventory Tally Sheet When you are finished taking the inventory, write the number you circled for each situation beside the corresponding letter on the tally sheet below. Add each of the 10 columns of the tally chart, writing the total of each in the empty box just below. A ____ U ____ B ____ V ____ G Z ____ H AA____ ____ ____ P ____ ____ Q ____ K ____ L ____ C J ____ W____ X ____ E Y ____ BB____ ____ CC____ ____ DD___ R ____ S ____ F ____ T ____ M ___ D I ____ N O ___ ____ Calm Storm Collaborating Calm Storm Competing Calm Storm Compromising Calm Storm Avoiding Calm Storm Accommodating Now list your scores and the style names in order from the highest score to lowest score in both the Calm and Storm columns below. Calm Storm Response when issues/conflicts first arise Response after the issues/conflicts have been unresolved and have grown in intensity. _____ Score __________________________ Style _____ Score __________________________ Style _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ _____ __________________________ 6 Interpreting the Scores: This exercise gives you two sets of scores for each of the five approaches to conflict. Calm scores apply to your response when disagreement first arises. Storm scores apply to your responses if things are not easily resolved and emotions get stronger. The higher your score in a given style, the more likely you are to use this style in responding to conflict. The highest score in each column indicates a “preferred” or primary style. If two or more styles have the same score they are equally “preferred.” The second highest score indicates one’s “backup” style if the number is relatively close to the highest score. A fairly even score across all of the styles indicates a “flat profile.” Persons with a flat profile tend to be able to choose easily among the various responses to conflict. [Adapted from Mennonite Conciliation Service, Mediation and Facilitation Training Manual, 4th ed., 2000 (Akron, PA: MCS), p. 64-66. By the Peace and Justice Network of Mennonite Church USA] 7
Purchase answer to see full attachment