Running head: YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
Your Topic Goes Here
Your Name
Your University
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YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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Introduction
Start with the attention-grabbing story: Capture your readers’ attention right away with a
detailed story, an anecdote about the problem, or another technique. You will explain that if this
happened, there must be a problem that should be solved. Identify the topic: This idea lets your
readers know what your paper is about in general terms. Express the purpose: This idea allows
readers to understand the purpose of your paper. Establish your credibility: You may have some
experience with this topic, and this is your opportunity to tell about it briefly. You may not be an
expert, but you have included the ideas of experts in your paper; identify two or three standout
sources that lend credibility to the topic. Emphasize why the topic is important: Few readers will
care about a topic unless you make them care. Briefly identify effects and indirect effects that
you will develop in the second section. End with your thesis statement. Be clear and concise
about your solution and why it will succeed; start with your solution and then identify reasons for
why it will work.
Problem Analysis
Problem Analysis: This section details the history, causes, and effects of the problem.
Offer background information: Historical or background information will put your topic into a
broader context. You will detail how and when the problem began and continued to be a
problem.
Detail causes of the problem: You will identify, explain, and support with research the
causes of the problem.
Explain effects of the problem: The negative effects of the problem, including indirect
effects, will be explained using research.
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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Be sure to include a visual, with a title, caption, and source information. See the Week 5
Lecture for more information. Include the visual closest to where you will explain it further or
connect it to an idea. An example follows.
Figure 1: No Child Left Behind Act Being Signed into Law, 2002
Figure 1: President George W. Bush is flanked by members of Congress and students as
he signs the No Child Left Behind Act into law in 2002. Source: Save Education (and GOP
Consistency): Dump No Child Left Behind (2010).
As shown in Figure 1, NCLB was signed into law in 2002 and the image above reflects
the good intentions that this initiative engendered: the president and smiling members of
Congress, including Edward M. Kennedy, a Democrat, and John Boehner, a Republican, along
with children in front of the American flag. Despite their best intentions, these tests have not
fulfilled the promise of raising the quality of education in our schools, and have instead left a
trail of broken promises, high school dropouts, and no substantial returns on investment. As a
result of standardized tests, our children have been left behind and are falling to the bottom of the
heap!
Solution
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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Continue with Section III, where you will identify and describe your plan to solve the
problem that you previously discussed in Section II. You will also explain why your solution will
work better than other ones, and what distinguishes it from others.
Name your solution and why it will be successful: Your solution should have a catchy
name and include two to three reasons why it will be successful.
Also, in this section and section V, you must prove the ideas put forth in your thesis
statement, which was the statement of what your plan is and why it is the best solution. Retrieve
your First Draft from the Dropbox to address any errors in the thesis statement that were marked
by your instructor. The direction of the remaining sections will be determined by your plan and
why it will be successful, so be sure to look over this section of the First Draft.
Distinguish your solution: Your solution should be unique, so here’s your opportunity to
explain what sets it apart from other equally good solutions. What is missing from other
solutions, and what makes your solution the better option? Some solutions may be untested just
as yours is, and you will argue why these other untested solutions won’t work as well as yours
will. Essentially you must argue that your solution is the best solution compared to what is
currently being done about the problem, as well as what others have suggested in solving it. The
only conclusion that the reader will have is that your solution is the only one that anyone should
consider, as all other possibilities have been eliminated as viable. Please note that you are
advancing your unique solution to the problem. This solution may be partly based on what
someone else has proposed, but if so, you must document and cite their solution. Do not feel
compelled to propose certain solutions just because research exists for them. Very often the
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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problem still exists because the solution being enacted to solve it is simply not working, and
nobody is willing to admit it.
Major steps in operationalizing your solution: Identify the major steps that must be taken
so that your solution can be implemented. The major steps may also include minor steps, so be
sure to include those as well. This part is the nuts and bolts of your plan: what person or entity
would be in charge of implementing the solution, what is their expertise, where are they to be
located, when exactly will they begin, and so on.
Summarize the deliverables: This section ends with your explanation of what deliverables
can be expected when the solution is implemented.
Benefits
For Section IV, or Benefits, detail how the solution will bring about benefits. In your
paper pitch, you briefly outlined the benefits of your plan, why the investment is worthwhile, and
the materials or resources needed to start. In this section of your draft, you will expand on these
ideas, specifically organizing your paper according to the aspects detailed below.
Offer a costs/benefits analysis: In this part, you will prove to the reader that your plan is
worthwhile in terms of time, energy, money, or a combination of these three. A chart or graph
will show clearly that these benefits outweigh any costs. To determine the benefits of the
solution, look back at your thesis statement at the end of Section I in your First Draft; your
benefits should prove what you outlined earlier in your thesis. If you are using a solution that is
partly based on one from research, you will include the numbers from this source and cite it. If
you are using your solution not based on anything you have found in research, you will have a
reasonable estimation of the numbers without the need for a citation.
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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Identify necessary materials or resources: Include the materials and/or resources that are
needed to make your solution a successful reality. Look back at the previous section, Section III,
for your major steps in operationalizing your solution. Determine what is needed if these steps
are to be followed. You don’t know yet what will be needed in the long term; at least in the short
term or to get started, identify the materials and resources needed.
Add in a chart or graph as discussed in Week 6 Lecture. Be sure to have a title at the top,
all text in Times New Roman 12, and a short explanation at the bottom. An example follows.
Figure 2: Cost of Current Testing System vs. Proposed Testing System
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Cost of Current Testing
System (in billions of
dollars)
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3
Cost of Proposed Testing
System (in billions of
dollars)
2
1
0
Year 1
Year 5
Year 10
Figure 2: This chart shows the cost of the current testing system in billions of dollars in blue in
Year 1 of the program, and then again in Years 5 and 10. The proposed testing system is shown
in red in the same 3 years: Years 1, 5, and 10. Clearly, the proposed system will save billions of
dollars in the short term as well as in the long term.
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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Conclusion
The final section of the paper is the conclusion. This is not the area just to repeat earlier
information. It will be two paragraphs in length. End with memorable ideas and details,
including a call to action, that sell the solution to the reader.
End with contact information and the next steps: Include contact information, which
would be your e-mail address (a fake one is fine) and how the audience should contact you. Also
indicate what the next steps would be for the audience.
Thus Section I Introduction, Section II Problem Analysis, Section III Solution, Section
IV Benefits, and Section V Conclusion are detailed in this Final Draft. Be sure to address
feedback you have received on the First Draft from Week 6 and the Second Draft from Week 7
to improve your paper before you turn in the Final Draft. The length of this document is about 6
to 8 pages, not including the title page and References. Add References below. The minimum
reference sources for this Final Draft is five. Proofread carefully and then turn in this document
to the Dropbox by the deadline identified by your instructor as your last name first FINAL Draft
Paper.docx. Good luck!
YOUR TOPIC GOES HERE
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References
Put your sources cited in-text above here in alphabetical order, starting with the first line flush
left and hanging indent of the second and each subsequent line. Each in-text citation
should have a corresponding reference entry here.
Put your sources cited in-text above here in alphabetical order, starting with the first line flush
left and hanging indent of the second and each subsequent line. Each in-text citation
should have a corresponding reference entry here.
Put your sources cited in-text above here in alphabetical order, starting with the first line flush
left and hanging indent of the second and each subsequent line. Each in-text citation
should have a corresponding reference entry here. Look up the correct format, because
sources have different formats depending on their type and location.
Put your sources cited in-text above here in alphabetical order, starting with the first line flush
left and hanging indent of the second and each subsequent line. Each in-text citation
should have a corresponding reference entry here.
Put your sources cited in-text above here in alphabetical order, starting with the first line flush
left and hanging indent of the second and each subsequent line. Each in-text citation
should have a corresponding reference entry here.
Week 7: Final Course Project Rubric
Purpose & Audience: There is a clear introduction that establishes
ideas that are appropriate in complexity and focus for a 6-8 page
college research paper. Effort and sensitivity to the study are
evident. Over time, the subject and focus have evolved in a
sophisticated direction and meet the needs of the audience.
Thesis: A clear thesis is presented to focus the argument. A specific
point of view is detailed to create a trajectory for the argument in
the form of a clear, original, and sophisticated thesis that pushes
the argument beyond summary and informative writing.
150 Earned
20
15
Development and Organization: Paragraphs are composed
around topics, which naturally and organically emerge from a
complex and sophisticated thesis. Each paragraph explores one
topic that is detailed in a well-crafted topic sentence. The
paragraph completely and fully develops and explains the topic
and provides details, examples, illustrations, and quotations from
the student's research. Research is academic in nature, well
selected, and correctly cited using APA standards. Topics and
paragraphs rise above commonplace thinking and summary.
Quoted material is used powerfully to support analytical points
(and not as padding). There are graceful transitions between
paragraphs. Paragraph topics relate to the overarching thesis.
Topics inter-related are proximate. The ideas explored are
significant, substantive, and instructive.
50
Conclusion: The conclusion efficiently synthesizes the main ideas
of the paper and summarizes the thesis. In addition, audience and
purpose are used to help frame a call to action that motivates a
deeper understanding and investment in the topic.
15
Grammar/Mechanics/Style: Grammar refers to the correct usage
of Standard American English. Mechanics refers to idiomatic
conventions (capitalization of proper nouns, spelling, and
punctuation). Style refers to word choice, and syntax (word
order). Sentences are varied in length and complexity without loss
of clarity or precision of meaning. Style makes a paper a pleasure
to read. All common mistakes (provided to students and
discussed) have been avoided in the editing process.
20
APA Format: APA format has been observed, which includes APA
title and Reference pages. Headers, margins (1” all around),
alignment, double-spacing, Times New Roman font, and 12 pt. font
size are correct. Pagination is in the upper right of the page.
Citations are scrupulously observed in-text and have a matching
full reference on a reference page with hanging indents (also
formatted correctly—double spaced in TNR 12 point font). Both intext and full references are complete according to the APA style
sheet.
Total
**Note: All papers must show revision from the drafting stage.
Any papers submitted that have not been revised will not be
graded and will earn a 0 grade.
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150
Comments
Running head: CHILD OBESITY
Child Obesity
Donna Fagarang
Professor Michael Jensen
ENGLISH 147
12 Aug 2018
CHILD OBESITY
Childhood obesity is a medical condition where children have a significantly
heavier weight than their height. Childhood obesity has become a relevant issue in both
the developed and the developing countries where the people due to its numerous
negative effects on the well-being of the child. It is usually a precursor to other lifestyle
diseases such as diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and obesity. Parents and
teachers play an important role in the lifestyle eating habits of the children. Although the
mechanism for the development of childhood obesity has not been fully understood,
various causes have been found which are linked to increased sugar, fat and caloric intake
as well as reduced physical activity. Childhood obesity is a major problem in the United
States as it acts as an inhibitor for healthy living in the later stages of life but its
prevalence can be reduced if more focus is put on the causes and how to eradicate them
and adopt healthier lifestyle options and physical activity interventions (Sahoo et al.,
2015).
In the United States, 20% of the children that are aged between the years 6
and 11 are obese while 10% of the children that are aged between the years 2 and 5 are
obese (Cunningham, Kramer & Narayan, 2014). Little is known about the history of
childhood obesity prior to the survey that was conducted regarding the body mass index
(BMI) in the year 1963.
Studies have indicated that the BMI distribution among the children was stable
between the years 1960 and 1980. This distribution was however on the rise until the
2000s with a change of childhood obesity from 5% to approximately 10% (Ogden,
Carroll, Kit et.al. 2014). The rate of childhood obesity has been increasingly steadily
annually where there are more cases of childhood obesity now. This is a cause for alarm
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CHILD OBESITY
because if the children are not able to change their dietary needs, they are very likely to
become overweight adults. The figure below shows research done by the Denver Public
Health followed by a concern that one out of six kids gets obese before reaching
adulthood, and this has grievous consequences.
Fig 1 (retrieved from http://denverpublichealth.org/home/health-information-andreports/health-indicators/childhood-obesity)
Childhood obesity is a medical condition that is easy to identify but often
challenging to treat. There are any causes of childhood obesity which can be prevented
by the parents, teachers and the children as well. Research has been efficient in
understanding the genetic factors that are contributing to the increased cases of childhood
obesity. Due to the increasing rates of childhood obesity in the previous years,
researchers have dedicated their time to identify the genes that are contributing towards
the childhood obesity being experienced. It is common to see cases where the children
with childhood obesity have parents who are also overweight or underwent the same
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CHILD OBESITY
medical condition. Studies have shown that BMI is inheritable by approximately 25% to
40%. Genetic factors, however, place a minimal contribution to childhood obesity where
they have to be coupled up together with environmental factors (Sahoo et al., 2015).
Unhealthy eating habits significantly affect the development of childhood obesity.
The consistent exposure of the children to unhealthy foods such as junk food and other
meals that have high levels of cholesterol impacts the BMI of the children. Some of these
foods include; fast foods, beverages with high levels of sugar, snack foods and eating big
portion sizes of food. Most of the high fat foods have high levels of cholesterol that is
harmful to the body (Cunningham, Kramer & Narayan, 2014). Changing the eating habits
of the children is along and continuous process that requires constant intervention by the
parents as well as the teachers.
Lack of engagement in physical activities also contributes to the development of
childhood obesity (Sahoo et al., 2015). In most cases, these children rarely engage in any
physical activities such as running or undertaking in any sports thus affecting their BMI.
The children are thus unable to burn out the high levels of fat thus developing childhood
obesity. A mixture of these factors is dangerous as it results in highly overweight children
whose condition is difficult to change. It is important to take measures that will reduce
these causal factors thus reducing the rates of childhood obesity in the United States.
Childhood obesity has the potential of impacting the physical health, social lives,
emotional well-being and the self-esteem of the children. There have been changes in the
academic performances of the children as well as a decline in the overall social well-
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CHILD OBESITY
being of the children. The consequences are divided into medical consequences, socioemotional consequences, and academic consequences.
There are numerous medical consequences that arise as a result of childhood
obesity. These diseases include the following; high blood pressure, type2 diabetes,
cardiovascular diseases, skin conditions, glucose intolerance, resistance to insulin, fatty
liver disease and orthopedic conditions. Diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and sleep
apnea are the most common diseases that occur as a result of childhood obesity. These
conditions had previously only been found in adults, but recent research shows their
prevalence in obese children (Wang & Lobstein, 2006). Although most of these
conditions are able to be controlled as the child becomes an adult, some of the conditions
cause complications all through the life of the adult. In the worst scenarios, childhood
obesity can result in death due to complications such as heart conditions.
Emotional and social consequences have a possibility of impacting the selfesteem and social life of the children. Childhood obesity has been described as being
“one of the most stigmatizing and least socially acceptable conditions in childhood”
(Wang & Lobstein, 2006). The children that are overweight and obese are usually victims
of bullying and teasing due to their weight. They also face other hardships such as social
stigmatization, discrimination and negative stereotyping as a result of their weight. These
children are often discriminated against in many events especially the competitions that
require physical activities. This is mainly due to their inability to keep up with the other
children where they often experience shortness of breath. This discrimination and
bullying usually result in poor self-esteem, low confidence and also having a negative
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CHILD OBESITY
body image while they are children which also have an impact on their academic
performance (Sahoo et al., 2015).
The negative emotional and social experiences lead to a decline in the academic
performance of the children with childhood obesity. Research has indicated that the
children suffering from childhood obesity are four times more likely to report problems
with their academics as compared to their peers with a standard BMI. Health
complications such as asthma and diabetes may cause them to miss their school work
thus resulting in poor academic performance.
It is possible to carry out a project on health promotion with the knowledge of the
causes and the consequences of childhood obesity. Parental practices have the potential to
reduce the total number of children that are suffering from childhood obesity
(Cunningham, Kramer & Narayan, 2014). Efforts such as encouraging the children to
engage in physical activities, reducing the time that the children spend on passive
activities such as watching television and binging on unhealthy foods and serving as role
models. These efforts will be able to reduce the alarming rate of children that are
experiencing childhood obesity in the United States. This can be done by facilitating a
physical activity intervention and healthy diet plan in the community.
Parents and teachers have an impact on the meal plans and the time tables of the
children. While at home, the parents are able to determine the time that the children will
eat, the foods that they will eat and the portion sizes of these foods. Prevention of
childhood obesity should begin from prior to the child birth where the mothers are able to
watch the foods that they eat to reduce the likelihood of having children who suffer from
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CHILD OBESITY
childhood diabetes. Teachers also contribute to the prevention of this condition through
encouraging the children to engage in more physical activities while in school.
This project is targeted at explaining the importance of the incorporation of
healthy eating as well as participation in physical activities for the children. Incorporation
of the prevention programs in preschools will allow the children to get accustomed to a
life where they eat healthily, engage in physical activities, avoid engaging in passive
activities as well as changing their eating patterns to avoiding foods that have high
concentrations of fats and sugars. This project thus seeks to teach children the importance
of learning how to engage in healthy eating patterns which will reduce the rates of
childhood obesity.
In conclusion, it is imperative that preventive actions need to be taken to reduce
the overall rate of childhood obesity in the United States. There should be an increase in
the access to physical activities, a reduction on the dependence of electronic devices such
as televisions, emphasis on the need for improvement of health as compared to weight
loss, increased medical monitoring to check on the BMI of the children, and increased
education on the children regarding the importance of healthy living. Obesity can be dealt
with in a more effective manner through the adoption of healthy lifestyles during
childhood.
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CHILD OBESITY
8
Reflection
My current thesis is “Childhood obesity is a major problem in the United States as
it acts as an inhibitor for healthy lining in the later stages of life”. A thesis statement
presents the argument, major ideas or central claims within a paper. As such, it should
reflect on the facts, judgement and ideas regarding the topic of discussion. In retrospect,
there are a number of things that are lacking in this thesis statement and need to be added
to make it stronger and more relevant. The statement does not fully discuss the
controlling idea for the paper but simply states a known fact, without any backed-up
evidence.
In order to make the thesis statement stronger and more specific, there are a
number of actions to undertake. It is affirmed that the thesis should give direction and
limits to what should be discussed in the paper, which is not conveyed by my current
thesis. Secondly, proof of the facts or statements made in the thesis should be presented
through well documented in text citations according to the specified style of writing.
Also, supporting points may be added. My final thesis statement should combine facts on
the causes and consequences of child obesity, and consequently give problem solving
options. To achieve this, it has to portray specificity and precision when broaching such a
wide subject.
Some of my major concerns on the first draft are that the thesis statement is not
well brought out and therefore the paper fails in providing a direction to the reader or
audience. Secondly, some of the facts stated throughout the paper have not been cited or
backed up by evidence. Other concerns on my first draft include whether the paper has
CHILD OBESITY
served its purpose because of the missing content in the thesis statement because of the
aforementioned influences the writing style, content, and organization of the paper.
The grammatical mechanics used to convey some messages is also an area of
concern considering the topic of discussion. For instance, the use of the weaker verbs
“very” or “really” as initially pointed out. This draft seeks to address the issues
mentioned above, including providing clarity and explanations on how the processes
suggested for intervention are to be undertaken. These pointers have guided my revision
on the assignment. Some of the skills I need to work on in my writing include using
straightforward language and trimming unnecessary long sentences, avoiding
redundancies and embracing proofreading skills. Consequently, I need to brush up on
writing and grammar principles as well as the requirements needed in writing an effective
paper.
Topic sentences are useful in communicating the main ideas in a particular
paragraph and providing transition throughout the paper. Evidence and supporting
information that can be used include using facts, statistics or examples that support the
message in the topic sentence.
In the first draft, topic sentences have been used in every paragraph of the paper
and an analysis of facts presented done or an explanation given. Although evidence has
been provided in some paragraphs, others are lacking in this area and consequently
requires polishing. Some of the paragraphs that need work and development include
those that have no back-up evidence and the first paragraph on the thesis section. Some of
the skills I need to work on include to strengthen my arguments by adding relevant
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CHILD OBESITY
resource material, always proofread and edit work before submission to ensure no
grammatical errors, and eliminate vagueness by rearranging paragraphs and adding
examples where necessary. These plans have been employed in coming up with the
second draft.
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CHILD OBESITY
11
References
Cunningham, S. A., Kramer, M. R., & Narayan, K. V. (2014). Incidence of childhood
obesity in the United States. New England Journal of Medicine, 370(5), 403-411.
http://denverpublichealth.org/home/health-information-and-reports/healthindicators/childhood-obesity [Accessed on 16th August 2018]
Ogden, C. L., Carroll, M. D., Kit, B. K., & Flegal, K. M. (2014). Prevalence of childhood
and adult obesity in the United States, 2011-2012. Jama, 311(8), 806-814.
Sahoo, K., Sahoo, B., Choudhury, A. K., Sofi, N. Y., Kumar, R., & Bhadoria, A. S.
(2015). Childhood obesity: causes and consequences. Journal of family medicine
and primary care, 4(2), 187.
Wang, Y., & Lobstein, T. I. M. (2006). Worldwide trends in childhood overweight and
obesity. International journal of pediatric obesity, 1(1), 11-25.
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