Running head: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS Interpersonal Communication Skills Donna Fagarang Interpersonal Communication Chamberlain University Professor Mills November 10, 2018 1 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS 2 Interpersonal Communication Skills 2A. List your interpersonal communication goal from CCC Part 1E. A clean typed version of your notes in a DATED conversation log, spreadsheet, journal, or diary format that identifies SPECIFIC instances when you were faced with performing this behavior (instances when you were in a position to discipline your daughter, for example). Each entry should explain the who, what, where, when, why, and how of the conversation. See the detailed explanation above In my project, I will address “I don’t know how to keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings.” Conversation Log Date Notes when faced with the behaviour 11/1/2018 During a conversation with my personal assistant in my office, a famous YouTube figure came to the office and the conversation changed from work responsibility to the excitement of seeing the YouTube person, and digressed. 11/3/2018 A supply’s department meeting in my office after lunch digressed to a conversation talking about popular lunchtime joint, and which had the best food. The meeting took eleven minutes longer than scheduled. 11/6/2018 The account’s department had to correct a new catalogue they were making for the company three times. I interpreted their failure to get the same instructions twice, came from lack of sufficient focus during the briefing meeting. After they were INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS 3 done they faulted my way of giving instructions, and I became defensive, which ended the conversation. 11/7/2018 No matter how I tried to steer the conversation in an employee’s briefing in the boardroom, the conversation still ended in the just concluded elections. The problem even I participated in the election conversation. 11/9/2018 While a compulsory meeting in the boardroom to take the stock on the week’s progress is mandatory every Friday, keeping focus in these meeting is especially hard. On this day, the employees took long to settle, and keep the conversation going. Friday plans was their interest in a conversation, which makes meeting take longer than expected. 2B. A review of your behavior in a narrative format, which clearly identifies patterns of communication behavior, as described above on your most effective communication skills. In a working environment, approachability is very important when dealing with employees, and in my case, this is my most effective communication skill while at work. Even when the accountants did not get instructions on the first two instances, they were still willing to ask for the third time. If employees cannot approach, another of their senior employees indicates a communication pattern breakdown. Another effective skill during conversations is I am always capable of bringing the meeting to order and carrying out the business of the day even if it takes longer. The distractions are the problem, but catching their attention, and finally driving the meeting’s agenda home must happen. Their lack of focus in INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS 4 the meeting does not erode my focus, which I maintain to the end of the meeting, and employees have to follow suit as they know there is no leaving till the meeting is done with. Maintaining focus and being approachable by employees are skills I would like to build on for skills that are even more effective. 2C. A review of your behavior in a narrative format, which clearly identifies patterns of communication behavior, as described above on your least effective communication skills While engaging with employees in a conversation I find that most of the time I have a pre-determined bias against them. In some cases, I will let them get away with digression in a conversation such as my personal assistant and the YouTube celebrity since I expect that from them. Expecting such behaviour from a conversation partner leads to increased bias towards employees when having a conversation, and makes one accept when they do it, which works against the agenda of the conversation. While sarcasm is a good remedy for maintaining conversations, it is not as effective in a working environment. Having a sarcastic tone does not help when I need to address employees, which is becoming one of the most ineffective communication skills that I have. Employees might also be failing to keep focus since they receive serious instructions as a joke, and hence their lack of attention to details of the conversation. 2D. A review of your behavior in a narrative format, which clearly identifies patterns of communication behavior, as described above on your other recurring communication behaviors. In a workplace environment, constructive criticism is inevitable, and it is important to learn how to receive it and take the necessary actions. In my case, one of the recorded cases was an interaction with the accounting department one of the reasons for delays in making INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS 5 the catalogue was receiving instructions in a wrong manner. Instead of listening I dismissed the and ended the conversation. While I heard their side of the story, and internalised to take the necessary actions, it was still not effective to dismiss the conversation. Maybe there was a little more I needed to know, or it might discourage such an essential conversation in future. In most of the recorded cases in the log, it was just easier to call the employees to order. However, the inability to call employees directly especially on corrective measures impaired my ability to increase the effectiveness of the conversation. Using sarcasm will never work when calling someone out on collective terms, as he or she will never think of it as a serious instruction. 2E. A review of your behavior in a narrative format, which clearly identifies patterns of communication behavior, as described above on your greatest communication problem. In communication, it is better to be direct, and tell the other party the intention of having the said conversation. Beating around the bush is not a great tactic, and this is my greatest communication problem now. Inability to call out others, or address issues directly also inhibits my ability to converse with someone doing so, which explains being defensive in the face of criticism. Expecting everyone to have the same attitude as I do about communication makes direct criticism register as a shock, wondering why junior employees the courage has to address issues directly, while I cannot address them as direct. It also informs my bias in communication explaining why I would tolerate complacency from junior employees, and at times even join them such as the election debate in the log instead of sharing the meeting. Dealing with this problem would boost the effectiveness of many other of my communication skills. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS 6 References Lipponen, K. (2005). What is Intercultural Communication Competence in the Context of the European Parliament? Retrieved from; https://jyx.jyu.fi/bitstream/handle/123456789/9099/URN_NBN_fi_jyu-200611.pdf Ohno, A. (n.d). Communicative Competence and Communicative Language Teaching. Retrieved from; https://www.u-bunkyo.ac.jp/center/library/image/fsell2002_2532.pdf Rickheit, G. (n.d). Handbook of Communication Competence. Retrieved from; http://npu.edu.ua/!ebook/book/djvu/A/iif_kgpm_Rickheit_Handbook_of_Communication.pdf Ohno, A (n.d).Understanding Communicative Competence. Retrieved from; https://www.ubunkyo.ac.jp/center/library/image/fsell2002_25-32.pdf Running head: COMMUNICATION GOALS Communication Goals Donna Fagarang Chamberlain University November 2, 2018 1 COMMUNICATION GOALS 2 1A. What are your "I can't" communication behaviors? 1. I can't ask my friends for favors when I need their help. 2. I can't discipline my daughter without becoming angry. 3. I can't say "no" when my boss asks me to work overtime. 4. I can't address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed. 5. I can't stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others. 6. I can't keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings. 7. I can't accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive. 1B. What are your "I won't" communication behaviors? 1. I can’t ask my friends for favors when I need their help. A lot of my close friends don't take me seriously when I need a favor from them. I like joking with them, but they don't get it when I am serious. They always think I am okay and that I have all I need under my control. Those that take me seriously are the type I do not like bothering much. Sometimes back I had requested some friends to come and help me prepare for my birthday party which I had invited many other of my friends. They did not turn up in time and came in with other invitees. Were it not for my brother who helped me to set up everything the party would not have been a success. Therefore, I feel that they don't recognize when I am serious and when I am joking. 2. I can't discipline my daughter without becoming angry COMMUNICATION GOALS 3 Anytime I discipline my daughter I become angry for some reasons. Sometimes because of making me discipline her for minor avoidable issues and other times for not keeping her promise of staying disciplined. I do not like disciplining her a lot but try to make her understand that I need her to learn to do things the right way. However, sometimes she does things that I cannot help disciplining her. Last month I had to discipline her for being too kind to her friend that after I got her a cute school bag she went and exchanged with her friend to make her feel good. However, the following day she got the bag torn several times with a sharp object without any explanation something I thought was out of jealousy from her friend. 3. I can't say "no" when my boss asks me to work overtime. My boss is such a nice person. So considerate and sometimes offers to treat us by taking us for camps as a team building initiative. He always follows up to ensure we are okay even in our private lives and he is not used to asking for favors, but once in a while, he might require any of us to do something extra to ensure things do not go astray. One of those things he is likely to ask is to work overtime once in a while when there is a backlog of work. Last month, I had a dinner date with my family and some friends. Just when it was one hour to close the day and head home to prepare for the dinner, I received a call to go to his office where he requested that I work overtime and finalize on some matters that would see the company sign a contract worth thousands of dollars. I was so confused, but due to how he is usually good at us, I had to give in and cancel the dinner although my family attended. 4. I can't address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed. I joined a new workplace recently where I was assigned to manage some employees. It happens that technically, I find them more qualified than me. They have worked in the company COMMUNICATION GOALS 4 for more than three years each and therefore used to all the processes. At few instances, I tried introducing some changes on how they would carry out their tasks, but on every occasion, they would counter my proposal with a better way of doing things, and on all the occasions I had to give in to their suggestions. Since then, I can't address them directly or clearly when corrective action is needed due to the fear that they may shoot down my proposals. 5. I can't stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others. I like having fun and cracking jokes so much especially with friends. However, even during serious conversations, I end up bringing jokes and sarcasm. As a result, my friends and others find me sarcastic all the time with their issues. Last week I met a friend who had a group of her friends, and we were having some good time together with all manner of stories. They were introduced to me as my friend claimed how good they are to her. I just nodded my head and said ‘everyone seems normal until you get to know them well.' At that, they noticed that I was sarcastic and it did not go well with them. 6. I can't keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings. I may say that I have difficult staffs who usually assume to be all-knowing. On several occasions, I have had to issue warning letters to some of them for lack of attention in carrying out their duties. It started when the company failed to review their salaries as it used to do in previous years due to loss of business and they got demotivated. Hence discussing with them is a bit hard as they cannot pay attention. I a couple of weeks ago we had our monthly meeting to recap on our progress, and none was bothered, and all they did was to murmur in low tones during the meeting. 7. I can't accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive. COMMUNICATION GOALS 5 I usually believe that whatever I do I give it my best and therefore should be correctly done. However, sometimes I think of myself as being overconfidence due to reviews I get from other people after doing something. But I am usually unable to accept it when someone directly faces me to explain to me how I should have done it better. Just last week I faced off with a colleague at work who tried to advise on how to improve on arranging my daily tasks since I am often the last to leave office and sometimes postpone some tasks. According to him, my approach on daily tasks needed a review on prioritizing. I, however, defended myself on being allocated more responsibilities than the rest something I don't think is factual today. 1C. What are your "I don't know how to" communication behaviors? 1. I won’t discipline my daughter without becoming angry 2. I won’t say "no" when my boss asks me to work overtime. I won’t discipline my daughter without becoming angry: This statement is more accurate because discipline my daughter is only possible if something done by her makes me angry. Otherwise, there is no reason for disciplining her. I won’t say "no" when my boss asks me to work overtime: this statement is more accurate since it is not very ethical in reality to say a direct “no” to my boss when asked to work overtime. I may use other ways to explain why I refuse to work overtime but not a direct “no." 1C. These statements are more accurate with "I don't know how to." 1. I don’t know how to ask my friends for favors when I need their help. 2. I don’t know how to address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed. COMMUNICATION GOALS 6 3. I don’t know how to stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others. 4. I don’t know how to keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings. 5. I don’t know how to accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive. I don’t know how to ask my friends for favors when I need their help: This statement is more accurate because when in need of a favor from friends, I would like to approach them and make my desires known to them easily. Knowing how to do is an issue that I would like to eliminate. I don’t know how to address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed: This statement is more accurate because essentially, every leader needs to know how to address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed. Therefore, not knowing how to do it becomes an issue of concern. I don’t know how to stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others: this statement is more accurate because coming out sarcastically in my conversations with others is not my choice. I want to avoid hurting those not used to it but my inability to know how to stop it is the issue of concern. I don’t know how to keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings: This statement is more accurate because every leader would want to be in a position that he or she can keep the staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings. Lacking the knowledge on how to do it becomes an issue. Therefore, I would like to keep my staff focused and how to do it is essential. I don’t know how to accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive: This statement is more accurate because taking constructive criticism is essential for any person that COMMUNICATION GOALS 7 would like to grow in any area. The inability to accept constructive criticism is dangerous for any person since they might live in deception. Therefore, I would like to know how to take constructive criticism without becoming defensive. 1D. Write a narrative describing how you eliminated those that remained in the "I don't know how to" category to decide on the one issue you selected for your project. I eliminated the rest on the basis that this one statement is more critical to handle in my project than the rest. They are equally important, but I feel addressing this one in my project will equip me with essential knowledge on communication. 1E. In my project, I will address “I don’t know how to keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings.” Keeping my staff focused on the discussion at hand is vital in meeting the goals of the meeting agenda. Every organization happens to have employees with diverse characteristics and to get all of them on the same page to focus on discussing issues during meetings is essential. Therefore, in addressing this statement in my project, I anticipate learning much on communication. The Language of Small Group Communication Match the terms about small group communication with their definitions. Record the number of the definition next to the appropriate term. a. interdependence (175) b. group norms (178) .c. quality circles (188) d. brainstorming (180) e. team (175) f. high-context culture (179) g. symposium (177) h. consensus (186) i. nominal group (186) j. focus group (182) 189 1. A group of employees charged with identifying ways to improve the organization. 2. A series of prepared presentations introduced and coordinated by a leader. 3. A kind of in-depth interview of a small group. 4. Rules or standards identifying which behaviors are considered appropriate and which are considered inappropriate in a group. 5. A type of agreement in which group members all agree that a solution is acceptable. 6. That relationship in which one person's behavior significantly impacts on the other person. 7. A culture in which much of the information in communication is not explicitly coded in verbal messages but is considered common knowledge to all participants. 8. A problem-solving technique in which there is little discussion and confidential voting. 9. A small group constructed for a specific purpose. 190 > or TEST YOURSELF: How Apprehensive Are You About Public Speaking? ? This questionnaire consists of six statements concerning your feelings about public speaking. Indicate the degree to which each statement applies to you by marking whether you (1) strongly agree, (2) agree, (3) are undecided, (4) disagree, or (5) strongly disagree with each statement. There are no right or wrong answers. Don't be concerned that some of the statements are similar to others. Work quickly; just record your first impression. _1 I have no fear of giving a speech. _2 Certain parts of my body feel very tense and rigid when I am giving a speech. _3 I feel relaxed while giving a speech. _4 My thoughts become confused and jumbled when I am giving a speech. 5 I face the prospect of giving a speech with confidence. 6 While giving a speech, I get so nervous that I forget facts I really know. HOW DID YOU DO? To obtain your public speaking apprehension score, use the following formula: Start with 18 points; add the scores for items 1, 3, and 5; then subtract the scores for items 2, 4, and 6. A score above 18 shows some degree of apprehension. Most people score above 18, so if you scored relatively high, you're among the vast majority of people. You may find it interesting to compare your apprehension scores from this test and from the test in Chapter 9. Most people would score higher on public speaking apprehension than on apprehension in group discussions. WHAT WILL YOU DO? As you read the suggestions for reducing apprehension in the text, consider what you can do to incorporate these ideas into your own public speaking experiences. Consider too how these suggestions might be useful in reducing apprehension more generally-for example, in social situations and in small groups and meetings. Step 5: Develop Your Main Points 11. Formulate the thesis of your speech. Develop your main points by asking this thesis. Step 6: Organize Your Information 12. Organize your speech materials into a clear, easily identifiable pattern. Us time patterns, spatial patterns, topical patterns, problem-solution patterns, patterns, and the motivated sequence (attention, need, satisfaction, visualiz available patterns include structure-function, comparison and contrast, pre multiple definition, the five W's (who, what, why, where, when), and fiction These first six steps in preparing a public speech entail a variety of specific skill to those skills you most want to work on. 1. When preparing a public speech, I follow a logical progression of step outlined here.
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