In this chapter, Sedaris reveals more about his father with whom he has a strained relationship. Sedaris describes the character and nature of his father when it comes to spending money. The author recounts how his father continued to drive even into very old age such that his license had to be taken away from him due to poor eyesight. Sedaris’s sister Lisa worried about their father and was grateful he had not gotten in an accident or hurt others as a result of his careless driving. Sedaris thinks his father is perfectly capable of hiring a driver, but does not do so because he prefers not to spend his money on such an expense.

The author’s father is just as stubborn with regards to spending money on making his home more comfortable for himself. Sedaris states that the condition of his father’s house was so bad family friends had raised concerns. His father’s electronics had broken down long ago and he could only use the microwave to cook his meals. The house was disorderly since he did not have the energy to carry out any chores. However, Sedaris feels no remorse for his father believing he is capable of hiring staff to help him with daily tasks but simply refuses to.

The reason why the author’s father does not want to make his life easier by hiring help is that he wants to leave the maximum inheritance to his children. Sedaris tries to convince his father otherwise by stating that his children might misuse the estate they inherit. The author eventually learns that his father never left him an inheritance which he feels is entirely unfair. The author’s father gives him some expensive portraits, but Sedaris throws them in the trash at an airport stating that that is where they belong.