The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
Contributed by Micheal Celestin
Chapter 5

We obsessively try to avoid responsibility and tend to always throw the burden on the people surrounding us. What we actually miss is the fact that being responsible for something actually empowers us. It spurs the growth of the positive energy inside of us that we need in order to solve the problems we are dealing with and as we remember from the previous chapters, the solution to our dilemmas is the key to the feeling of happiness we desire. We always try to find excuses but we should not miss the fact that no matter what were the circumstances, it's our responsibility what is going to happen next. In the end, this is what differentiates it from fault. Fault is seen as being a past tense action, a reflection of what already took place. On the other hand, responsibility takes place in the present and it is a direct result of the pathway we are choosing. As in poker, some of us are born with better cards and are able to risk more while others don't have this luxury. Even so, it's their responsibility to choose a way to deal with their problem. That explains why a problem can be seen as being painful when someone forces us to do something we don't want t but can also bring happiness when we take full responsibility for the action.


Through these pages, Manson further focuses on the fact that without being aware we are continuously choosing. Not doing anything is also a form of choice. Because of that, we are fully responsible for everything that takes place in our life. When someone breaks our thrust is their fault that we are put in this situation but is our responsibility how we feel in relation to what just happened. We can choose to avoid any other contact because of the fear that someone else will betray us or we can reflect more on what caused the situation and try to avoid it in the future. In a less complex way, any event in our life can be seen as a double bladed sword. It is our own choice if we choose to cut ourselves or if we use it is a tool. In theory, all of these seem very indisputable but when it comes to practice we might question how we can choose the right pathway. In order to do so, we need to change our morals and metrics which Manson discussed in the previous chapter. Instead of prioritizing something that brings no benefits, we should turn our focus to what really matters and what can bring us some life lessons. It still sounds like a simple move but when we are in need of these changes we will find out that it is actually hard. We might feel like losers in the beginning but in the end, the greatest wine is the one that endured the test of time.

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